Hello Everyone!
I know this is 2 weeks after we have closed the show. I know I should've done this a week ago, but I just haven't really had the time. Here are my musing about the last weekend of shows and the aftermath of the tornado.
The last weekend was very bitter, and just a little bit of sweet. A lot of times, when I am closing a show, I am ready to shut it down and go on to other things. I have made it to the end of a lot of other shows and thought to myself "I have done all I can with this show, it's time to go to the next." But with the fourth installment of The Wizard of Oz, I just wasn't ready to call it quits. I remember talking to someone after the final performance and our conversation went something like this...
Them: "Wow, you must be exhausted!"
Me while drinking down Gatorade and tired in my eyes: "oh, I am!"
Them: "You must be glad it's over"
Me with a smile: "I can do it another 4 weekends."
And I really could. Sure, this was probably the most physically taxing show I've ever done. Sure, my voice probably is happy it doesn't have to belt "King of the Forest" anymore. Sure, my knee was glad that it didn't have to dance "The Jitterbug" anymore. But my mind, heart, and soul just were not ready to let it go. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Zeke. I wasn't ready to say goodbye the most wonderful costume I've ever had. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to the other 3 of the 4 friends of Oz. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my Munchkins. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my manicurists, or Ozians, or ghosts, or trees and our nightly ritual just before going on stage, or my fist bump with Illon right before walking out as the lion, or anyone in this show. I probably didn't seem like this outwardly, but inside just wasn't ready.
As Jill will tell you, I am usually one of the first ones on stage with a screw gun to strike a set, and one of the last ones of the cast to leave. But for this show, I just couldn't bring myself to start taking it apart. I grabbed my screw gun, and just kinda walked around aimlessly, and I blamed it on my exhaustion, I told Jill that I wasn't any good to her, but to be honest...I just didn't have to heart to tear down the set and close this show.
This show has meant so much to me in so many ways. First and foremost, I got to play a dream role that I've had for 20 years. When listing off my dream roles to people, The Cowardly Lion was always just kind of a throw in role, I'd say "Oh yeah, I'd like to play the Cowardly Lion too" but it wasn't until I got cast and started becoming the lion that I realized just how much he meant to me. Of course he was always my favorite character with my favorite song of the entire movie/play, Bert Lahr being the magician that he is on the screen. But I think I've always, deep down inside, considered myself to BE the Cowardly Lion. Always afraid to do anything that took me out of my comfort zone. Sure, I've done it from time to time, and done pretty well when I push that fear away, but that fear is still there in my everyday life. I hope that I can, when faced with my biggest fears, can get the soul of Zeke and say "Alright, I'll do it for ME...wicked witch or no wicked witch...guard or no guard."
I met some really amazing people, and worked with people again that have just helped me along the way. I'm not going to name them individually because I will leave people out, but just know that everyone that was a part of this cast, crew, and creative team truly made it magical. I absolutely loved coming to the theatre every day. I didn't miss a rehearsal because I didn't want to miss any part of the magic, or any opportunity to get to know people. I came in so early for shows so I could make sure I spent as much time as I could with this company. I knew I would get no fewer than 15 hugs every night, and my heart was just so happy about that.
**Before I continue, I want to make sure I talk about two groups of people that never made it on a video or into a blog, but were so instrumental in making this show run. The first is tech and wardrobe crews! They ran the backstage and made the scene changes so smooth, and the costume changes would not have been possible without them. The tech crew moved the massive sets and made all the fog, while the wardrobe crew had to change out sweaty actors in a hurry. Thank you so much for all that you did for us!
The second group was the amazing band we had in our pit. This is the most talented pit in all of Western North Carolina. I knew we could always count on Sarah and the rest of the crew downstairs to keep us moving. I loved our little wave and thank you every night after mic check. We wouldn't have sounded half as good as we did with out you!**
And finally. The biggest reason why this show and this role meant so much to me is because it re-sparked something in me that had kinda been out for a long time. This may come as a shock to some people, and I only told one person this, but, I had kinda lost my love for acting. I knew it had been a part of me for so long, and it was very important to me for a long time...but, the spark and the joy that I used to get for acting, was just kinda...gone. I even said to someone, "I wouldn't be surprised if I never got on stage again." Now, I don't think she believed it for a minute (and deep down I'm sure I wasn't 100% convinced of it either), but at the time, I was sure. I knew I wanted to stage manage and run my own theatre, but I thought my acting days were over. I was going to go on a ship and just work behind the scenes for the rest of my life. But I couldn't pass up the opportunity to do this role, one that people have said I'd be perfect for for years. I'm so glad I got to do it, and so glad that I got to do it with this cast. I can say that I have been re-bitten by the bug and not only will be onstage again, but am already in another production (keep reading for details).
Now, I'm not one to believe that everything happens for a reason...but I do think that I was meant to do this role in this theatre, with this cast, at this time. Time will only tell what happens from here, but I am looking forward to the future!
So what's next for me? Well, next week I'm going to New York City! I'm taking myself for my birthday and am going to see lots of shows while I'm up there. I'm sure I will write about it when I get back. After that, I will continue to rehearsal for "Miracle on 34th Street" at Asheville Community Theatre where I will be playing Dr. Pierce. I am also auditioning for "The Fantastics" and other shows in the winter/spring. I've also gotten bitten by the directing bug (those pesky theatre bugs) and will be looking for opportunities to assistant direct as well as hopefully direct my first full-length show sometime in 2020. Keep on the lookout for all of that!
Please subscribe to my blog so you can keep up to date on what I do. I won't do a blog for every show I do, but I do want to get into writing more and I love to do it.
Enjoy this slideshow of pictures that I took throughout rehearsals and shows. It's been so fun writing this blog as well as creating these videos for you all! Thank you for everyone who has read and watched and I hope to stay in touch through here. If you have an idea of something for me to write on, whether it is a single idea, or a series idea, please comment and I will see what I can do!
I take my final, tearful, bow...and my final kiss to the audience as I say goodbye to We're Off to See the Wizard.
As always...
Until Next Time...